The Sky never was the Limit...with God

Ramblings and reflections of one growing in stature and wisdom and in his walk with God :)

10:27 PM

what a day

Etched by Isaac

today was the first full weekday i had at home since the holidays started. What have i accomplished??...nothing much because i spent the day worrying. worrying. and worrying.

what have i done?.
nononono...
i feel extremely guilty....
and sad
and regretful
and empty
and...
more that i shouldn't say.

Sometimes in life we have to strike a delicate balance between saying too much and not saying enough. I think I just crashed the balance. Now look what happened. Oh Dear. Not that anyone here will know what I'm talking about except for one person who doesn't read my blog much I think, maybe I'm wrong. Hope I'm wrong. Perhaps I'm wrong. No...I'm always wrong. At least when it comes to predicting stuff about that person. Some people may know who I'm talking about. But. those people don't read this blog. Usually. They don't go online much. Usually. But they can understand how I feel. Always.

Crap. I have to be in school tomorrow at 7am. Nice. To breath in the fresh air at the herb garden. hahahaha~~~~today's cleanup was cancelled due to lack of response.

Got to sleep. Nope. Have to finish homework. Still unfinished even though I could have finished it a long time ago. Having a restless soul is worse than a headache or a stomachache - these two can be cured easily but the former stays for a long time.

Will I ever get out of this? I don't know for sure. What is the problem. I'm not certain. Why am I like this? I really don't know. What am I talking about? Something that you definitely don't know about so don't ask. Crap~~~~~~

Hope that the one person is ok. Just want to say I'm really sorry. Want things to be back to normal if possible. If not possible, then I want to know how I can help. If cannot help (or don't want me to help) then just say so..so I won't go around with a guilty conscience - I have a very strong conscience and I feel really bad now - jiwa tidak tenteram - . Is the person avoiding me?...I think so...I....I....I....don't know what to do now. Can't spam the person's phone with missed calls...not replying email...giving weird replies in chat...ignoring me in friendster..what can I do?...I want some feedback...I can't analyse the situation without information. I can't. I can do a lot of things, but I can't handle this. FULL STOP

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