The Sky never was the Limit...with God

Ramblings and reflections of one growing in stature and wisdom and in his walk with God :)

12:33 AM

At the End of the Day

Etched by Isaac

There is a longing to be heard, to be seen, coupled with the longing to disappear from sight - to melt into the crowd, to be inconspicuous. Conflicting desires intertwined with flowing wishes which leave much to be explained. Yet there is hope amidst the doldrums of the quagmire of doubt that bogs the mind down incessantly.

The days and weeks are an endless grind with new intentions each day that turn to dust as the realisation that the intentions were not as noble and pure as they were once meant to be dawns upon me. I have learnt much since my surgery - that the human mind is as weak as it thinks it is, and that temptations lurk at every corner possible. Sometimes, even in the simplest of situations, there are huge obstacles to overcome, and it isn't every time that one will succeed. It is at times such as this, that one's true inner self, morals and character come into play; once the pretense is washed away, the core identity is left exposed - it is naked and bare and rawly HUMAN.

I have yearned for a long time to actually get the engine up and running again, but it seems that each time, procrastination gets in my way. Not that I have anyone or anything to blame for that other than my own self, but the dissatisfaction lingers peevishly. The only thing I can do besides pray, is to work exceedingly harder than before, with an iron will and a steely determination to push the boundaries beyond what is seen as the comfort zone, in order to break through the confounding barriers that prevent me from reaching what lies on the other side - a better standard of education, which in turn will affect every step in the future.

Faith is always challenged, because it cannot be proved by science - that is because faith is NOT science. In fact, it challenges the very principles of science, and always succeeds in bringing itself into its master plan, as orchestrated by the One who is in control of science.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that each decision I make will ultimately affect my final outcome - the life in eternity. Whether I end up in Heaven or in Hell, I don't have any guarantee right now, but I'd certainly cherish the opportunity to do something about it while I still have time here on planet Earth. There are so many things that I am sure I should do but in the end I fail to get them settled. Likewise, at the same time, I am and have been doing multiple tasks. It is time to take a break, catch a breath, count stock and decide once and for all what is actually important, and what is not.

-trimming the fat-

I pray everyday that God will touch lives and change hearts. I pray for strength and wisdom and self-control. I pray for blessings and for grace. I pray that others will be saved. I pray that God will use me to help others. I pray for many things, including this country, Malaysia. God works miracles in awesome ways, and He is still doing it right now. Things are never the same.

It is time to go to sleep.
Even sleeping time is challenged nowadays.
Life is changing, and I continue to resist the tide.
- Striving ahead into the unknown waters -

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