The Sky never was the Limit...with God

Ramblings and reflections of one growing in stature and wisdom and in his walk with God :)

9:59 AM

Six Weeks

Etched by Isaac

I've been here for almost six weeks now.
Rotation 1 is done with - Oncology, Haematology, and Palliative Care.
Have I learnt a lot? Actually, yes, I guess. A lot about life, death, and everything in between.

As I handed in my logbook, I felt a sigh pass through my mind - this rotation could have been better. But then again, it could have been worse. I guess I'm learning to cope with the fragile balance that is the medical student caught in between idealism and reality.

Also, my elective poster presentation today went alright I guess. Could have been better, could also have been worse. Maybe I should have concentrated more on what the examiners would have found as "interesting" cases i.e. tropical medicine stuff, but to me it really isn't as interesting or exotic as they find it, simply because I'm from Malaysia. What is common to me isn't common to them. But ah well.

This couple of weeks has been relatively productive I guess - I'm finally 99.9% physically healthy. Had plenty of sleep, water, vitamin C, and badminton. I've also been rediscovering and re-evaluating myself, and what life means to me I guess. Lots of revelations and surprises. GP case presentation done too! Done my one and only case for Year 4. GP stuff seems interesting too, but I don't think I can see myself becoming a GP.

I'm doing plenty of cooking. One of my coursemates asked me today whether I've been spending all my time cooking. I guess, yes, I have been. That, and working on a special friendship which today made a positive step. I am happy. Am learning to trust God more, and micromanage less. Sometimes I border on obsessive, and this is unhealthy. I'm glad she had the guts to step up and confront me about it, and that she was nice about it too. I guess I needed it. I thank God for her. Much to be learnt, still learning in this journey that is Life.

I don't know exactly why, but I'm actually looking forward to going back to Malaysia and working there in the tough environment. Maybe there's something about the UK that I dislike. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the culture, or the people. I don't know. Or maybe I just prefer being in the only country that I've dared to call home despite it being far from ideal. Also, the actual need for good doctors is in Malaysia, not the UK. I should work harder at becoming a good doctor. I've been procrastinating for too long. A gift not used is a gift wasted, but there is still a chance for me to use my gifts.

This year will be a better year than last year. Much is to be done, and much is to be accomplished. Although there are many aspects to becoming a doctor, there's one thing I can't afford to compromise on, and that's a solid clinical foundation to back up the positive/realistic front I will be trying to exude to the patients I will see. Nowadays when I ask myself why I want to do Medicine, it gets tougher to answer - reality has kicked in - there are few reasons to want to do Medicine other than just purely wanting to do it, or if I'm truly and really 100% altruistic. But at the end of the day, Medicine is still a job in a career, as a means of putting food on the table.

I will not allow it to consume me.

The only thing that I should allow to consume me is the fire of the Holy Ghost - the zeal and the passion to be Christ-like.

Working on it.
Still so far.

-- Sometimes I feel like I face the storms of life, but God is always there with me --

-- I bought myself a Christmas present! Such a work of art, Ori and the Blind Forest is. --

I note that most of my Steam games are there really only for display; I hardly ever play them. I guess my priorities have changed, probably for the better.

I'll be posting up pictures tomorrow I guess. Should head to bed now. There's a dinner tomorrow. I foresee £10 flying away. Ah well. Such is the price of eating out over here.

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