The Sky never was the Limit...with God

Ramblings and reflections of one growing in stature and wisdom and in his walk with God :)

9:31 PM

Waiting

Etched by Isaac

I have spent the past few weeks with internal debates.

- She has said "No, not now,". It is clear.
- I still love her.
- I wish she'd text me more.
- I get angry with myself for wanting that.
- I know she's busy.
- I thought I was a rational person.
- Apparently not.

Yes, if only emotions had an on/off switch.
But they obviously don't.

She occupies my thoughts every day.
Whenever I'm not sleeping or distracting myself from thinking about her, I think about her.
I think about her a lot.
Probably too much.
Can you think about a person too much?

Scumbag heart chose to do this to my brain.

But, thinking about her makes me happy.
Reading her texts, however brief, makes me happy. 
Hearing her voice makes me happy.
Telling her I love her, although she has no obligation to return the love, makes me happy.

She says she wants me to be happy.
I am happy.

But I want her to be happy too.
If I had one wish, it would be for her to be happy. 

If only emotions had an on/off switch.
But emotions are what make us human beings, us.
If a person was not the sum of his or her feelings, there would only be the scientific, biological shell that was left.

There are so many things I could and should be doing instead of thinking about her.
But I don't want to do those things.
I want to love her.

== I sent her this picture I took. I thought it was pretty. I wished she was there to see it. ==



Love is a choice.
To my open book, if you ever read this, remember, I love you.

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